Earth flat and Sun orbits Earth says Myanmar government

From our correspondent in Naypyidaw

State Counsellor Daw Aung San Suu Kyi has ordered Minister of Education Dr Myo Thein Gyi to revise school textbooks after commissioning an investigation by Myint Swe into whether the Earth genuinely is round and whether the Earth truly does orbit the Sun.

“If the international community can get it so badly wrong about the Bengalis, we realised they could have got many other things wrong as well, so we decided to investigate,” said Aung San Suu Kyi’s spokesperson, U Zaw Htay.

Speaking at a press conference in Naypyidaw, Myint Swe said that he had thoroughly investigated and found no evidence the planet Earth is round. “The Earth is clearly not round, this is just external elements who saw a hill and are exaggerating it.”

“The idea that the Earth orbits the Sun is ridiculous. They claim the Earth is moving at a 67,000 miles an hour around the Sun. Even when I am driving my car at 50 miles per hour I get a strong wind on my face if I lower the window. Here I am talking to you and I cannot feel even a light breeze on my face. I spent a whole day watching the Sun very carefully and very clearly it was moving across the sky while we didn’t move at all.”

U Zaw Htay told Burma Tha Din that following this investigation, Daw Aung San Suu Kyi has now commissioned Myint Swe to investigate whether there really is gravity and whether one and one really does equal two.