Rohingya’s To Blame for Climate Change - Report

By our correspondent in Cox’s Bizarre

Burma Tha Din Network has obtained a confidential draft of a report on recent violence in Rakhine State, Burma, which links the ethnic Rohingya to global climate change.

The leaking of the report coincides with the Rohingya also being blamed for violence in Bangladesh.

The draft report, prepared for Myanmar’s Border Affairs Ministry by journalists from the Weekly Eleven Media Group, claims that Na Sa Ka agents found evidence in the abandoned homes of Rohingya linking them with a conspiracy to create global climate change.

Despite the extensive 1,982 page report going on to provide great detail on the ‘conspiracy’, no evidence is cited to back the claims. The reports devotes several chapters to reasons why the ‘Bengali’s’ want to ‘invade’ Burma. It claims the ‘Bangali’s’ were attracted to move from Bangladesh to Burma by Burma’s lower GDP, lower access to health services (33% of population in Burma had access compared to 45% in Bangladesh), lower access to safe water (27% Burma, 46% Bangladesh, and higher levels of children stunted by malnutrition (75% Burma, 59% Bangladesh). (Statistics all date from 1980s).

The ‘illegal Bengali’s’ were also attracted to move to Burma by Burma’s terrible record on human rights and lack of democracy, and by the discrimination they constantly faced. Living in Burma also enabled them to be closer to the mass graves where their ancestors are buried. The report states that what it calls ‘illegal Bengali Muslim immigrants’ first hatched a new conspiracy to continue their takeover of Rakhine State and then the whole of Burma as long ago as 1990. They were inspired by the first report of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, which speculated that over the following century it was possible that 60 percent of Bangladesh could be flooded by rising sea levels. The report claims: ‘The Bengali’s hatched a conspiracy to make climate change worse, calculating that if Bangladesh was flooded it would be impossible for them to be sent back there.’ The report doesn’t specify how the Rohingya carried out this plot, despite claiming it was successful.

The report also speculates on Rohingya involvement in several other global conspiracies, including the sinking of the Costa Concordia Cruise ship off the coast of Italy in July this year, recent earthquakes in New Zealand, and the alleged kidnapping of Elvis, believed to be being held in a safe house near Sittwe. Officials from the Ministry of Border Affairs were not available for comment owing to attending a conference on peacebuilding at the luxury Regina Hotel and Golf Course in eastern Shan State.

UK praises Myanmar government for fixing traffic light

By our London correspondent British Prime Minister David Cameron today hailed President Thein Sein’s government following the announcement that a broken traffic light on the corner of Pansodan Street and Mahan Bandoola Road in Yangon had been fixed. The traffic light had been out of order for three days. “We welcome this positive step by the courageous government of Thein Sein, which will make a real difference to the lives of ordinary people”, said British Prime Minister David Cameron. “It is yet more evidence of momentous changes in the country, and we are committed to working with the government of Burma in supporting further major reforms.” A DFID spokesperson refused to confirm that a major grant, delivered via a UN agency, will be made for further provision of traffic lights. There had been speculation that fear of the reaction from military hardliners would delay the repair of the traffic light. The President’s office would not confirm whether a broken light bulb or electrical fault was responsible for the breakdown. The BBC apologised for an earlier headline on its website that every traffic light in Burma had been fixed, a spokesperson told Burma Tha Din news agency off the record that they had got a little carried away with the excitement of such significant news.