Burma election roundup November 5th 2015

Balloons over Bagan confirm NLD balloon sale
Balloons over Bagan have confirmed to Burma Tha Din that officials from Daw Aung San Suu Kyi‎'s office have ordered a hot air balloon. The balloon will be red with the fighting peacock logo of the NLD.

"They have told us that after the election we have to deliver it to Nay Pyi Daw, where it will be tethered over the Presidents office. It will be used exclusively for Daw Aung San Suu Kyi so the basket underneath only needs to be big enough for herself, Dr Tin Mar Aung, and the western person who is visiting her."


Daw Suu Sets Guinness World Record?
Guinness World Records has confirmed to Burma Tha Din that Daw Aung San Suu Kyi may enter it's hallowed records, following her press conference to foreign media in Yangon this morning.

"We are pretty sure that no politician has ever answered so many questions in such a short space of time and in such a concise manner", said an official from ‎Guiness World Records.

‎"The fact that the answers were rarely very enlightening is not a factor in deciding the entry. Our records are about quantity, not quality."


Internet speeds slow as journalists pile in
Burma's internet appears to be struggling to cope with hoards of journalists arriving to cover the elections. Military owned UMEH has confirmed it is struggling to cope with the surge in demand for its Myanmar Beer. ‎Pharmacies are also reporting booming sales of antibiotics for food poisoning.


Fighting in ethnic states escalates
Burma Tha Din has received reports that a new military offensive by the Burmese Army in Shan State in the past month has displaced thousands of people and that civilians are being tortured and killed. Burmese Army offensives in Kachin State are also continuing.

However, this is not happening in Yangon, isn't about Aung San Suu Kyi or Shwe Mann or Muslims, and doesn't fit the narrative, so we haven't bothered sending anyone to report it.