Muslim detectors to be installed at polling stations

From our correspondent in Nay Pyi Daw

Burma Tha Din has uncovered plans by the Union Election Commission (UEC) to install Muslim detectors, similar to airport style metal detectors, ‎at entrances to polling stations for election due on November 8th.

Speaking on condition of anonymity, a UEC official confirmed the plans but said they were not yet ready to formally announce them.

"What else can we do”, asked the official "First we took away the Bingli's right to vote, then rejected their candidates for MPs. The USDP and NLD rejected candidates who are Muslim, and we rejected so many candidates from the Muslim party that their party will now be banned as they can't meet minimum candidate numbers. But these bloody Muslims can't take a hint, and it is learned that many Muslims are still planning to vote."

Questioned about whether there is any way a scanner can detect someone’s religion,‎ the official admitted he also privately had doubts, but said that a consortium of Burmese business men, rumoured to include Tay Za, had promised they had the technology and could offer a very good price.

“Even with the discount we don’t have the funding to install this technology at every polling station, so we are reaching out to international donors for assistance. Sweden, the UK and several other countries helped fund the census which excluded the Rohingya, and as the election will also exclude the Rohingya, we are hoping they will fund this as well. And we can count on the United Nations agencies in Myanmar, who always agree to everything we ask without making a fuss.”

Ma Ba Tha leader, The Venerable U Goebbels, speaking from his private jet en-route from meetings in Nay Pyi Daw, welcomed the proposed move, telling Burma Tha Din; “President Thein Sein truly is a son of Buddha. This is a very cool idea. It’s definitely a good excuse to throw another party!”

Canvassing public opinion on the move, Burma Tha Din found widespread support, with one shopkeeper telling our correspondent; “I totally agree with this, no matter what it costs we must do it. I can’t tell you how worried I have been that I’ll wake up on November 9th to find myself living in a Caliphate and my daughters married to men with beards.”

Burma Tha Din asked an NLD spokesperson for comment but he just gave us the phone number for the local Ma Ba Tha office, muttered something about cutting out the middle man, all these years of sacrifice for what, and then informed us of his resignation.

As the European Union has been a staunch supporter of the election process and is sending election monitors, Burma Tha Din asked for their reaction. However, we were told that the European Union had been unable to reach consensus on a statement as several European Union countries were very interested in purchasing the detectors themselves.