From our White House Correspondent
President Obama and President Thein Sein spoke to the media after their historic meeting in the White House. As President Obama spoke Obamaese and President Thein Sein spoke Myanmarese, Burma Tha Din Network provides this translation.
The original is available on the White House website here: http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2013/05/20/remarks-president-obama-and-president-thein-sein-myanmar-after-bilateral
President Obama:
I want to welcome President Thein Sein to the United States of America and to the Oval Office.
When I became President I set our foreign policy on a decisive new course of pivoting towards Asia. This is because they have lots of money and growing economies, and because like all Americans, the prospect of China being the richest most powerful country in the world scares the shit out of me. We need Asian countries to be our friends, not China’s friends, but we can’t do that if we are arguing with them about human rights in Burma. More generally, I am not particularly interested in human rights anyway.
I also recall there was also something about North Korea and nuclear proliferation influencing the decision at the time, but these days I kind of lost interest in all that nuclear disarmament stuff and can’t remember the details now.
Our approach on Burma also fitted in with my more general approach of reaching out an open hand to dictatorship’s around the world, telling them, if you are willing to change your approach, we’ll change ours. Most dictatorships mistook this as a sign of weakness, and many even increased abuses against their populations, but I responded firmly with statements of concern, eventually.
Thank the Lord one dictatorship did respond to my offer of friendship, Myanmar. President Thein Sein’s Cornell University educated advisors have trained him to use the language of reform, even while conflict, violence and human rights abuses have continued, and that’s good enough for me. I am desperate for a foreign policy success. This is the only success I have, and by God and going to talk it up. I have been careful to remember not to condemn ethnic cleansing against the Rohingya Muslims, which in any case would play badly with the domestic American audience. I’ll pay lip service to human rights concerns, but won’t do anything to risk upsetting my new buddy Thein Sein.
As I stand here with President Thein Sein, I am imagining the faces of China’s leadership as they watch this on their TVs. Ha! We are dragging Burma away from their sphere of influence, and they know it. The release of all political prisoners would be nice, but pulling Burma away from China is what really matters.
President Thein Sein:
I can’t believe he has fallen for all of this, what a sucker. Did someone mention there is a golf course round here somewhere? Are we done yet?
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Exclusive interview with Aung San Suu Kyi
Exclusive interview with Aung San Suu Kyi
Burma Tha Din has secured this exclusive interview with Aung San Suu Kyi
Interviewer
Dear Mother
According to the reports, Human Rights Watch are saying that ethnic cleansing and crimes against humanity have been taking place against the Rohingya in Burma. What is your response to this?
DASSK
I am not going to take sides. What we have here is a question of the lack of the rule of law. To solve these problems we need the rule of law.
Interviewer
The European Union lifted the sanctions, saying it is a reward for remarkable change in Burma. But many are saying it is too soon to lift sanctions, because many human rights problems remain. What is your opinion? Is lifting sanctions a good way to promote human rights?
DASSK
These kind of problems happen because there is a problem of the lack of the rule of law. To solve these problems we need the rule of law.
Interviewer
Mother Suu, it is now almost two years since the ceasefire in Kachin State was broken, and since then there have been reports of rape and many other human rights abuses, and tens of thousands of people displaced and suffering because of aid being blocked. Despite promises from the President and military to observe a ceasefire, the Kachin Independence Army says they are still being attacked by the Burmese Army. What do you think should be done to end this conflict?
DASSK
I am not going to take sides. What we have here is a question of the lack of the rule of law. To solve these problems we need the rule of law.
Interviewer
It is learned that more political prisoners are being released this week. How do you say about this?
DASSK
The question of political prisoners arises due to the lack of the rule of law. To solve these problems we need the rule of law.
Interviewer
It is now a year since the EU suspended and then the USA lifted many sanctions, but there has still not been much investment in Burma, why do you think this is?
DASSK
I think that investors are concerned by the lack of the rule of law. To solve these problems we need the rule of law.
Interviewer
What is your opinion on reports that the army and security forces have been raping many women in Rakhine and Kachin State?
DASSK
I am not going to take sides. What we have here is a question of the lack of the rule of law. To solve these problems we need the rule of law.
Interviewer
There is a growing problem of land confiscation across the country, as your have seen yourself at Letpadaung. What do you think should be done about this?
DASSK
What we have here is a question of the lack of the rule of law. To solve these problems we need the rule of law.
Interviewer
Dear Mother, thank you very much for answering my questions today, it has been a great honour.
Burma Tha Din has secured this exclusive interview with Aung San Suu Kyi
Interviewer
Dear Mother
According to the reports, Human Rights Watch are saying that ethnic cleansing and crimes against humanity have been taking place against the Rohingya in Burma. What is your response to this?
DASSK
I am not going to take sides. What we have here is a question of the lack of the rule of law. To solve these problems we need the rule of law.
Interviewer
The European Union lifted the sanctions, saying it is a reward for remarkable change in Burma. But many are saying it is too soon to lift sanctions, because many human rights problems remain. What is your opinion? Is lifting sanctions a good way to promote human rights?
DASSK
These kind of problems happen because there is a problem of the lack of the rule of law. To solve these problems we need the rule of law.
Interviewer
Mother Suu, it is now almost two years since the ceasefire in Kachin State was broken, and since then there have been reports of rape and many other human rights abuses, and tens of thousands of people displaced and suffering because of aid being blocked. Despite promises from the President and military to observe a ceasefire, the Kachin Independence Army says they are still being attacked by the Burmese Army. What do you think should be done to end this conflict?
DASSK
I am not going to take sides. What we have here is a question of the lack of the rule of law. To solve these problems we need the rule of law.
Interviewer
It is learned that more political prisoners are being released this week. How do you say about this?
DASSK
The question of political prisoners arises due to the lack of the rule of law. To solve these problems we need the rule of law.
Interviewer
It is now a year since the EU suspended and then the USA lifted many sanctions, but there has still not been much investment in Burma, why do you think this is?
DASSK
I think that investors are concerned by the lack of the rule of law. To solve these problems we need the rule of law.
Interviewer
What is your opinion on reports that the army and security forces have been raping many women in Rakhine and Kachin State?
DASSK
I am not going to take sides. What we have here is a question of the lack of the rule of law. To solve these problems we need the rule of law.
Interviewer
There is a growing problem of land confiscation across the country, as your have seen yourself at Letpadaung. What do you think should be done about this?
DASSK
What we have here is a question of the lack of the rule of law. To solve these problems we need the rule of law.
Interviewer
Dear Mother, thank you very much for answering my questions today, it has been a great honour.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
International Crisis Group To Give Peace Award To Thein Sein
From our correspondent in New York
President U Thein Sein of Burma will receive the ‘In Pursuit of Peace’ Award from the International Crisis Group on April 22nd.
The International Crisis Group stated that the award; ‘recognises individuals for their outstanding contributions to the advancement of peace and security.’
The award will be presented at a lavish dinner in the luxury Pierre Hotel, where the top ticket package costs $100,000.
The Master of Ceremonies will be Katty Kay from the politically neutral BBC.
The presentation of a peace award to President Thein Sein will be controversial given his past personal involvement in human rights abuses, and serious continuing human rights abuses, including UN documented violations of international law. Also likely to spark controversy is the fact that conflict actually increased after Thein Sein became President, and the fact that almost 300,000 people have displaced by conflict in Burma in the past two years.
President Thein Sein, who stated on becoming President that one of his priorities was to build ‘military might’, continues military spending which is five times higher than on health, and which is actually increasing despite extreme poverty in the country.
International Crisis Group point however to the many ceasefires which have been signed with armed ethnic groups, although as with similar ceasefire agreements in the early 1990s, no progress has been made in starting discussions on the root causes of the conflict.
International Crisis Group may also face accusations of making the award in order to raise funds. Investors in Burma such as PTT Group and Chevron are key sponsors. The International Crisis Group has not stated how much profit it expects to make from the event.
NB (After publishing this article Burma Tha Din Network was made aware that the International Crisis Group really have given their peace award to Thein Sein. As a satirical publication, we apologise for the misunderstanding).
President U Thein Sein of Burma will receive the ‘In Pursuit of Peace’ Award from the International Crisis Group on April 22nd.
The International Crisis Group stated that the award; ‘recognises individuals for their outstanding contributions to the advancement of peace and security.’
The award will be presented at a lavish dinner in the luxury Pierre Hotel, where the top ticket package costs $100,000.
The Master of Ceremonies will be Katty Kay from the politically neutral BBC.
The presentation of a peace award to President Thein Sein will be controversial given his past personal involvement in human rights abuses, and serious continuing human rights abuses, including UN documented violations of international law. Also likely to spark controversy is the fact that conflict actually increased after Thein Sein became President, and the fact that almost 300,000 people have displaced by conflict in Burma in the past two years.
President Thein Sein, who stated on becoming President that one of his priorities was to build ‘military might’, continues military spending which is five times higher than on health, and which is actually increasing despite extreme poverty in the country.
International Crisis Group point however to the many ceasefires which have been signed with armed ethnic groups, although as with similar ceasefire agreements in the early 1990s, no progress has been made in starting discussions on the root causes of the conflict.
International Crisis Group may also face accusations of making the award in order to raise funds. Investors in Burma such as PTT Group and Chevron are key sponsors. The International Crisis Group has not stated how much profit it expects to make from the event.
NB (After publishing this article Burma Tha Din Network was made aware that the International Crisis Group really have given their peace award to Thein Sein. As a satirical publication, we apologise for the misunderstanding).
Friday, January 18, 2013
Cameron To Help Search For Loch Ness Monster In Burma
By our correspondent in London
British Prime Minister David Cameron could soon be returning to Burma to ask President Thein Sein for co-operation in the hunt for the Loch Ness Monster.
The Loch Ness Monster, also known as Nessie, is a legend of some kind of dinosaur like monster living in Loch Ness, a large lake in Scotland.
The initiative comes at the behest of Bonkers Mc Faddden, a highland farmer who has spent his life searching for the Loch Ness monster after claiming to have seen the beast when he was a child on a family hunting trip.
His hunt seemed to have come to an end in 2003 when a BBC sponsored search with high tech sensory equipment scanned every inch of the Loch without finding any trace of Nessie.
"At first I thought they were just looking in the wrong place, but then I started to wonder if Nessie had been kidnapped, it is the only sensible explanation," Bonkers McFadden told Burma Tha Din News. "After years of research I discovered that boats for the Irrawaddy Flotilla Company were being built in Scotland and towed to Burma for use on the Irrawaddy. I believe one of these boats was used to smuggle Nessie out of Burma, and that she was placed in Inya Lake."
Pressed for evidence to substantiate his claim, McFadden said; "Look at the case of John Yettaw. It was never clearly established how he managed to swim across the lake to Aung San Suu Kyi's house. Maybe he had a ride? I'm just sayin’."
A spokesperson at 10 Downing St confirmed the planned visit, telling Burma Tha Din News; "The PM was going to Asia soon anyway, and apart from trade we had nothing particularly import to talk to the Burmese government about, so we thought, why the hell not, the Daily Mail will probably like it and God knows we can do with some positive coverage in the Mail."
A bemused spokesperson for President Thein Sein's office told Burma Tha Din that they hadn't heard anything about the initiative, but that these days they wouldn't be surprised. "We are getting used to this kind of thing. At least they are not giving us a hard time like they used to. As long as they keep offering us money for our cooperation why not agree? The war in Kachin State is very expensive."
Families of students drowned in Inya Lake by the Burmese Army in 1988, for which nobody has ever been prosecuted or held accountable, could not be reached for comment.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Aung San Suu Kyi Not Perfect - Exclusive
Burma Tha Din Network can exclusively reveal today the shocking new fact that Aung San Suu Kyi is not perfect.
The revelations will cause shock among her many supporters at home and abroad, including many world leaders.
Burma Tha Din began its investigation following the strident criticism in the online knitting community of two jumpers alleged to have been knitted by Daw Suu, which were recently auctioned.
We dared to think the unthinkable; if The Lady isn't good at knitting, is it possible she isn't perfect? If so, what else isn't she good at? We dispatched a correspondent to Oxford, where Aung San Suu Kyi used to live, and were amazed by what we found.
Based on conversations with neighbours, friends and people randomly walking down the road, we established the following revelations. Aung San Suu Kyi regularly let the tea stew too long in the pot, according to one neighbour.
Aung San Suu Kyi made lumpy porridge, and her children preferred aunty Lucinda's porridge.
Aung San Suu Kyi once ran out of sugar, and had to borrow some from a neighbour.
Once we came to terms with these revelations, we had to ask ourselves the obvious question, if Aung San Suu Kyi is not perfect, could she also be responsible for multiple human rights violations in Burma, such as forced labour, jailing political prisoners, torturing people, rounding up ethnic minorities in camps, and mortar bombing ethnic minority children?
We tried to reach President Thein Sein for comment, but a spokesman for his office said he was unavailable for comment because he was very busy committing multiple human rights violations, such as forced labour, jailing political prisoners, torturing people, rounding up ethnic minorities in camps, and mortar bombing ethnic minority children.
The revelations will undoubtedly provoke strong criticism of Aung San Suu Kyi, even among her supporters. Roger Benedict, spokesperson for Buddhist Solidarity Worldwide, told Burma Tha Din, "The revelations will shock her supporters who saw her as Asia's Jamie Oliver". Representatives from the Kachin, the Rohingya and the arms trade industry were not able to comment before our publication deadline.
The revelations will cause shock among her many supporters at home and abroad, including many world leaders.
Burma Tha Din began its investigation following the strident criticism in the online knitting community of two jumpers alleged to have been knitted by Daw Suu, which were recently auctioned.
We dared to think the unthinkable; if The Lady isn't good at knitting, is it possible she isn't perfect? If so, what else isn't she good at? We dispatched a correspondent to Oxford, where Aung San Suu Kyi used to live, and were amazed by what we found.
Based on conversations with neighbours, friends and people randomly walking down the road, we established the following revelations. Aung San Suu Kyi regularly let the tea stew too long in the pot, according to one neighbour.
Aung San Suu Kyi made lumpy porridge, and her children preferred aunty Lucinda's porridge.
Aung San Suu Kyi once ran out of sugar, and had to borrow some from a neighbour.
Once we came to terms with these revelations, we had to ask ourselves the obvious question, if Aung San Suu Kyi is not perfect, could she also be responsible for multiple human rights violations in Burma, such as forced labour, jailing political prisoners, torturing people, rounding up ethnic minorities in camps, and mortar bombing ethnic minority children?
We tried to reach President Thein Sein for comment, but a spokesman for his office said he was unavailable for comment because he was very busy committing multiple human rights violations, such as forced labour, jailing political prisoners, torturing people, rounding up ethnic minorities in camps, and mortar bombing ethnic minority children.
The revelations will undoubtedly provoke strong criticism of Aung San Suu Kyi, even among her supporters. Roger Benedict, spokesperson for Buddhist Solidarity Worldwide, told Burma Tha Din, "The revelations will shock her supporters who saw her as Asia's Jamie Oliver". Representatives from the Kachin, the Rohingya and the arms trade industry were not able to comment before our publication deadline.
Monday, October 1, 2012
Rohingya’s To Blame for Climate Change - Report
By our correspondent in Cox’s Bizarre
Burma Tha Din Network has obtained a confidential draft of a report on recent violence in Rakhine State, Burma, which links the ethnic Rohingya to global climate change.
The leaking of the report coincides with the Rohingya also being blamed for violence in Bangladesh.
The draft report, prepared for Myanmar’s Border Affairs Ministry by journalists from the Weekly Eleven Media Group, claims that Na Sa Ka agents found evidence in the abandoned homes of Rohingya linking them with a conspiracy to create global climate change.
Despite the extensive 1,982 page report going on to provide great detail on the ‘conspiracy’, no evidence is cited to back the claims. The reports devotes several chapters to reasons why the ‘Bengali’s’ want to ‘invade’ Burma. It claims the ‘Bangali’s’ were attracted to move from Bangladesh to Burma by Burma’s lower GDP, lower access to health services (33% of population in Burma had access compared to 45% in Bangladesh), lower access to safe water (27% Burma, 46% Bangladesh, and higher levels of children stunted by malnutrition (75% Burma, 59% Bangladesh). (Statistics all date from 1980s).
The ‘illegal Bengali’s’ were also attracted to move to Burma by Burma’s terrible record on human rights and lack of democracy, and by the discrimination they constantly faced. Living in Burma also enabled them to be closer to the mass graves where their ancestors are buried. The report states that what it calls ‘illegal Bengali Muslim immigrants’ first hatched a new conspiracy to continue their takeover of Rakhine State and then the whole of Burma as long ago as 1990. They were inspired by the first report of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, which speculated that over the following century it was possible that 60 percent of Bangladesh could be flooded by rising sea levels. The report claims: ‘The Bengali’s hatched a conspiracy to make climate change worse, calculating that if Bangladesh was flooded it would be impossible for them to be sent back there.’ The report doesn’t specify how the Rohingya carried out this plot, despite claiming it was successful.
The report also speculates on Rohingya involvement in several other global conspiracies, including the sinking of the Costa Concordia Cruise ship off the coast of Italy in July this year, recent earthquakes in New Zealand, and the alleged kidnapping of Elvis, believed to be being held in a safe house near Sittwe. Officials from the Ministry of Border Affairs were not available for comment owing to attending a conference on peacebuilding at the luxury Regina Hotel and Golf Course in eastern Shan State.
Burma Tha Din Network has obtained a confidential draft of a report on recent violence in Rakhine State, Burma, which links the ethnic Rohingya to global climate change.
The leaking of the report coincides with the Rohingya also being blamed for violence in Bangladesh.
The draft report, prepared for Myanmar’s Border Affairs Ministry by journalists from the Weekly Eleven Media Group, claims that Na Sa Ka agents found evidence in the abandoned homes of Rohingya linking them with a conspiracy to create global climate change.
Despite the extensive 1,982 page report going on to provide great detail on the ‘conspiracy’, no evidence is cited to back the claims. The reports devotes several chapters to reasons why the ‘Bengali’s’ want to ‘invade’ Burma. It claims the ‘Bangali’s’ were attracted to move from Bangladesh to Burma by Burma’s lower GDP, lower access to health services (33% of population in Burma had access compared to 45% in Bangladesh), lower access to safe water (27% Burma, 46% Bangladesh, and higher levels of children stunted by malnutrition (75% Burma, 59% Bangladesh). (Statistics all date from 1980s).
The ‘illegal Bengali’s’ were also attracted to move to Burma by Burma’s terrible record on human rights and lack of democracy, and by the discrimination they constantly faced. Living in Burma also enabled them to be closer to the mass graves where their ancestors are buried. The report states that what it calls ‘illegal Bengali Muslim immigrants’ first hatched a new conspiracy to continue their takeover of Rakhine State and then the whole of Burma as long ago as 1990. They were inspired by the first report of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, which speculated that over the following century it was possible that 60 percent of Bangladesh could be flooded by rising sea levels. The report claims: ‘The Bengali’s hatched a conspiracy to make climate change worse, calculating that if Bangladesh was flooded it would be impossible for them to be sent back there.’ The report doesn’t specify how the Rohingya carried out this plot, despite claiming it was successful.
The report also speculates on Rohingya involvement in several other global conspiracies, including the sinking of the Costa Concordia Cruise ship off the coast of Italy in July this year, recent earthquakes in New Zealand, and the alleged kidnapping of Elvis, believed to be being held in a safe house near Sittwe. Officials from the Ministry of Border Affairs were not available for comment owing to attending a conference on peacebuilding at the luxury Regina Hotel and Golf Course in eastern Shan State.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
UK praises Myanmar government for fixing traffic light
By our London correspondent
British Prime Minister David Cameron today hailed President Thein Sein’s government following the announcement that a broken traffic light on the corner of Pansodan Street and Mahan Bandoola Road in Yangon had been fixed. The traffic light had been out of order for three days.
“We welcome this positive step by the courageous government of Thein Sein, which will make a real difference to the lives of ordinary people”, said British Prime Minister David Cameron. “It is yet more evidence of momentous changes in the country, and we are committed to working with the government of Burma in supporting further major reforms.”
A DFID spokesperson refused to confirm that a major grant, delivered via a UN agency, will be made for further provision of traffic lights.
There had been speculation that fear of the reaction from military hardliners would delay the repair of the traffic light. The President’s office would not confirm whether a broken light bulb or electrical fault was responsible for the breakdown.
The BBC apologised for an earlier headline on its website that every traffic light in Burma had been fixed, a spokesperson told Burma Tha Din news agency off the record that they had got a little carried away with the excitement of such significant news.
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