Saturday, August 26, 2017
News From Rakhine - 26th August 2017
Bengali’s Attacking us ‘Not Fair’ Says Commander in Chief
The Commander in Chief and Office of the State Counsellor both issued statements today condemning Rohingya attacks on police and army posts.
“These attacks are proof the Bengali’s are not ethnic from Myanmar, if they were they would know the way it is supposed to work here is we attack them, not they attack us back,’ said Min Aung Hlaing. “They should sit in their village and wait for us to attack them at time which is convenient for us. It’s not fair to fight back and to so when we are not expecting it.”
Not for the first time, Daw Aung San Suu Kyi’s spokesperson echoed the Commander in Chief: “They should not attack us, what have we ever done to them? It’s not fair.”
Government Announces New Terrorist Categories
Following attacks at the western gate, the government has issued Order 1/1984 on terrorism designations. These designations must be used in all official communications.
James Bond villain terrorist: Megalomaniac individual seeking world takeover.
Extremist terrorist: Terrorists who are Muslims.
Standard terrorist: Non Bamar ethnic people.
Traitor terrorist: Bamar who disagree with government or military.
Moderate terrorist: Groups who sign NCA
NGOs Demand ‘Someone do Something’ on Rakhine Crisis
36 human rights and civil society organisation today published an open join letter to the international community demanding ‘someone do something,’ about the escalating violence in Rakhine State.
Reports that up to a thousand very pissed off Rohingya people attacked police posts and killed officers, and that the military are stepping up attacks, justify the immediate doing of something by the international community, according to the letter.
The letter warns, “unless something is done and done urgently, there is a very real risk of us issuing another joint letter, but this time with even more signatories.”
Military ‘not offended’ by calls for militia
A military spokesperson has told Burma Tha Din that the Tatmadaw is not at all offended by demands by ethnic Rakhine communities for people to be armed as peoples militias. There had been speculation that the military might be offended by the demands, as they implied the 300,000 plus strong military was unable to handle 1,000 plus ARSA insurgents.
The spokesperson told Burma Tha Din: “A militia is related to the military, so we are happy. The more people in military or security related groups the better as far as we are concerned. In fact, we would recruit many more people but if everyone is in the military who could we shoot at and arrest?”
88 Generation and Irrawaddy condemn Rohingya rising up against security forces
88 Generation members, who exactly ten years ago organised protests which led to an uprising against the government and security forces which were oppressing them , have condemned Rohingya for rising up against the government and security forces which are oppressing them.
“In the past we might have supported ethnic people fighting the security forces which went to their areas, raped and killed and burned their villagers, but those ethnic people weren’t Rohingya Muslims, so of course it’s different,” said Ko Ko Kessler.
The Irrawaddy website, which criticised armed ethnic groups for not marching to cities to help the uprising against the military in 2007, backed calls by military MPs for a meeting of the military dominated National Defence and Security Council to address the crisis.
ARSE declare ‘Mission Accomplished’
Rohingya insurgent group ARSE has declared ‘mission accomplished’ after attacks on border guard posts provoked renewed attacks on civilians by military and security forces.
“Rohingya villages are burning, thousands of people are fleeing for their lives, and the government have something they can use as an excuse for not implementing Rakhine Commission recommendations,” they said in a statement released on a Twitter account which may or may not be linked to ARSE. “Here we have shown we are defending our people against colonial invasion. There are not enough Tatmadaw in the world to defeat the ARSE.”
Wednesday, August 9, 2017
Fake Rape, Twitter and 8.8.88 Anniversary - News round-up 9th August
Rape claims are fake says government rapist
In an exclusive interview following the publication of the governments report into allegations of human rights violations in Rakhine State, U Zaw Htay, Daw Aung San Suu Kyi’s propaganda officer, has told Burma Tha Din that the official government rapist has confirmed that rape claims against Rohingya are fake.
“When Myint Swe investigated the rape claims, the first person he visited was naturally Thura U Aung Ko, Union Minister for Religious Affairs and Culture. He has reportedly raped at least two women, so we have in-house expertise on rape at the highest government level. He confirmed the claims are fake. I would also like to add that although some were critical about the appointment of an alleged rapist as a government minister, once again Daw Aung San Suu Kyi showed how far-sighted she is in knowing that once day it would be useful to have a rapist government minister.”
Unfortunately, the interview was terminated after just one question after our reporter made a light-hearted comment to U Zaw Htay about his posting broken Facebook links on Twitter.
Twitter struggling in Myanmar despite boost from unemployed journalists
Twitter has reported it is continuing to struggle to gain subscribers in Myanmar despite seeing a 50% spike in Tweets, largely thanks to unemployed Myanmar Times journalists sitting in coffee shops in Yangon passing the time tweeting while waiting for a rejection email for their latest pitch.
“Facebook has got the mad anti-Muslim conspiracy theory market completely sown up, we just can’t compete” said a Twitter spokesperson.
State Counsellor blames staff for forgetting about 8th August
A source has told Burma Tha Din that Daw Aung San Suu Kyi is furious after only finding out today in Global New Light of Myanmar that yesterday was the anniversary of the 8 8 88 uprising.
"When I said people should only read and watch state media with lots of pictures of me in, I didn't mean that's also where I find out what's going on", she reportedly shouted at staff.
NLD HQ in Yangon have been ordered to deliver NLD calendars (each month featuring a picture of Daw Aung San Suu Kyi) to all staff in her office.
Senior staff had previously persuaded a reluctant Aung San Suu Kyi that she should make some kind of statement on the anniversary, and she agreed on the condition that no-one mention that the military might have been involved in anything relating to the protests or aftermath.
In an exclusive interview following the publication of the governments report into allegations of human rights violations in Rakhine State, U Zaw Htay, Daw Aung San Suu Kyi’s propaganda officer, has told Burma Tha Din that the official government rapist has confirmed that rape claims against Rohingya are fake.
“When Myint Swe investigated the rape claims, the first person he visited was naturally Thura U Aung Ko, Union Minister for Religious Affairs and Culture. He has reportedly raped at least two women, so we have in-house expertise on rape at the highest government level. He confirmed the claims are fake. I would also like to add that although some were critical about the appointment of an alleged rapist as a government minister, once again Daw Aung San Suu Kyi showed how far-sighted she is in knowing that once day it would be useful to have a rapist government minister.”
Unfortunately, the interview was terminated after just one question after our reporter made a light-hearted comment to U Zaw Htay about his posting broken Facebook links on Twitter.
Twitter struggling in Myanmar despite boost from unemployed journalists
Twitter has reported it is continuing to struggle to gain subscribers in Myanmar despite seeing a 50% spike in Tweets, largely thanks to unemployed Myanmar Times journalists sitting in coffee shops in Yangon passing the time tweeting while waiting for a rejection email for their latest pitch.
“Facebook has got the mad anti-Muslim conspiracy theory market completely sown up, we just can’t compete” said a Twitter spokesperson.
State Counsellor blames staff for forgetting about 8th August
A source has told Burma Tha Din that Daw Aung San Suu Kyi is furious after only finding out today in Global New Light of Myanmar that yesterday was the anniversary of the 8 8 88 uprising.
"When I said people should only read and watch state media with lots of pictures of me in, I didn't mean that's also where I find out what's going on", she reportedly shouted at staff.
NLD HQ in Yangon have been ordered to deliver NLD calendars (each month featuring a picture of Daw Aung San Suu Kyi) to all staff in her office.
Senior staff had previously persuaded a reluctant Aung San Suu Kyi that she should make some kind of statement on the anniversary, and she agreed on the condition that no-one mention that the military might have been involved in anything relating to the protests or aftermath.
Sunday, August 6, 2017
Earth flat and Sun orbits Earth says Myanmar government
From our correspondent in Naypyidaw
State Counsellor Daw Aung San Suu Kyi has ordered Minister of Education Dr Myo Thein Gyi to revise school textbooks after commissioning an investigation by Myint Swe into whether the Earth genuinely is round and whether the Earth truly does orbit the Sun.
“If the international community can get it so badly wrong about the Bengalis, we realised they could have got many other things wrong as well, so we decided to investigate,” said Aung San Suu Kyi’s spokesperson, U Zaw Htay.
Speaking at a press conference in Naypyidaw, Myint Swe said that he had thoroughly investigated and found no evidence the planet Earth is round. “The Earth is clearly not round, this is just external elements who saw a hill and are exaggerating it.”
“The idea that the Earth orbits the Sun is ridiculous. They claim the Earth is moving at a 67,000 miles an hour around the Sun. Even when I am driving my car at 50 miles per hour I get a strong wind on my face if I lower the window. Here I am talking to you and I cannot feel even a light breeze on my face. I spent a whole day watching the Sun very carefully and very clearly it was moving across the sky while we didn’t move at all.”
U Zaw Htay told Burma Tha Din that following this investigation, Daw Aung San Suu Kyi has now commissioned Myint Swe to investigate whether there really is gravity and whether one and one really does equal two.
State Counsellor Daw Aung San Suu Kyi has ordered Minister of Education Dr Myo Thein Gyi to revise school textbooks after commissioning an investigation by Myint Swe into whether the Earth genuinely is round and whether the Earth truly does orbit the Sun.
“If the international community can get it so badly wrong about the Bengalis, we realised they could have got many other things wrong as well, so we decided to investigate,” said Aung San Suu Kyi’s spokesperson, U Zaw Htay.
Speaking at a press conference in Naypyidaw, Myint Swe said that he had thoroughly investigated and found no evidence the planet Earth is round. “The Earth is clearly not round, this is just external elements who saw a hill and are exaggerating it.”
“The idea that the Earth orbits the Sun is ridiculous. They claim the Earth is moving at a 67,000 miles an hour around the Sun. Even when I am driving my car at 50 miles per hour I get a strong wind on my face if I lower the window. Here I am talking to you and I cannot feel even a light breeze on my face. I spent a whole day watching the Sun very carefully and very clearly it was moving across the sky while we didn’t move at all.”
U Zaw Htay told Burma Tha Din that following this investigation, Daw Aung San Suu Kyi has now commissioned Myint Swe to investigate whether there really is gravity and whether one and one really does equal two.
Wednesday, July 12, 2017
Myanmar Military Deny Reports Min Aung Hlaing In Tears Over Facebook Posts
From our correspondent in New Delhi
A Tatmadaw spokesperson has denied reports in Indian media that Commander in Chief Senior General Min Aung Hlaing missed a key diplomatic meeting during his current visit to India because he was in his hotel room crying over Facebook posts which criticised him. India is a key supplier of military equipment to the Tatmadaw.
According to Indian media, Min Aung Hlaing failed to attend a lunch with Admiral Sunil Lanba, Chief of Naval Staff. His absence surprised Indian officials as Min Aung Hlaing is known the world over for enjoying luxury lunches and dinners on his trips abroad. The official reason given was that he had a spot of ‘Delhi Belly’.
However, a cleaner at Min Aung Hlaings hotel tipped off local media that at the time he was supposed to be at the lunch meeting she had seen the general in tears in his hotel room, pointing at Facebook posts on his laptop and complaining to his staff.
“I thought soldiers were supposed to be strong but this man cried like a baby,” she is reported as saying.
The Senior General is widely known to be very sensitive about negative posts and jokes about him on social media. He has frequently ordered his officials to make complaints about comments or jokes about him, in order for them to be charged under the notorious section 66d of the telecommunications law. To date the government of Myanmar, led by Daw Aung San Suu Kyi, have been happy to allow these complaints to go ahead.
A military insider told Burma Tha Din; “It’s a nightmare, like so many people in Myanmar he is glued to Facebook, but he gets so upset if people makes jokes or critical comments about him. We are soldiers but instead of guns we have to carry tissues in case Min Aung Hlaing cries over a Facebook post. We can’t let him go into meetings with tears running down his face. Sometimes he won’t even get out of bed, he just sits there on his laptop all day crying or shouting. We have people to run his Facebook Account but he still reads all the comments. On foreign trips we usually tell him the wifi is down, but something obviously went wrong this time.”
A spokesperson for the government of India refused to comment on the reports, but in an official statement they said: “Please Min Aung Hlaing, if we give you lots of guns will you be our friend instead of China’s?”
A Tatmadaw spokesperson has denied reports in Indian media that Commander in Chief Senior General Min Aung Hlaing missed a key diplomatic meeting during his current visit to India because he was in his hotel room crying over Facebook posts which criticised him. India is a key supplier of military equipment to the Tatmadaw.
According to Indian media, Min Aung Hlaing failed to attend a lunch with Admiral Sunil Lanba, Chief of Naval Staff. His absence surprised Indian officials as Min Aung Hlaing is known the world over for enjoying luxury lunches and dinners on his trips abroad. The official reason given was that he had a spot of ‘Delhi Belly’.
However, a cleaner at Min Aung Hlaings hotel tipped off local media that at the time he was supposed to be at the lunch meeting she had seen the general in tears in his hotel room, pointing at Facebook posts on his laptop and complaining to his staff.
“I thought soldiers were supposed to be strong but this man cried like a baby,” she is reported as saying.
The Senior General is widely known to be very sensitive about negative posts and jokes about him on social media. He has frequently ordered his officials to make complaints about comments or jokes about him, in order for them to be charged under the notorious section 66d of the telecommunications law. To date the government of Myanmar, led by Daw Aung San Suu Kyi, have been happy to allow these complaints to go ahead.
A military insider told Burma Tha Din; “It’s a nightmare, like so many people in Myanmar he is glued to Facebook, but he gets so upset if people makes jokes or critical comments about him. We are soldiers but instead of guns we have to carry tissues in case Min Aung Hlaing cries over a Facebook post. We can’t let him go into meetings with tears running down his face. Sometimes he won’t even get out of bed, he just sits there on his laptop all day crying or shouting. We have people to run his Facebook Account but he still reads all the comments. On foreign trips we usually tell him the wifi is down, but something obviously went wrong this time.”
A spokesperson for the government of India refused to comment on the reports, but in an official statement they said: “Please Min Aung Hlaing, if we give you lots of guns will you be our friend instead of China’s?”
Tuesday, April 25, 2017
Burma Tha Din Business roundup
Total to increase investment in response to increasing human rights violations
French oil giant Total is looking at new investment opportunities following a UN report that human rights violations against the Rohingya minority may constitute crimes against humanity.
“After six years of optimism that human rights in Myanmar would improve, we are now back to seeing the kind of human rights violations which make Myanmar an attractive place for Total to invest in,” said Total head, Patrick Pouyanné. “The establishment of a UN Fact Finding Mission in the Human Rights Council resolution was what finally convinced us that now is the right time.”
Burma Tha Din understands that Total executives were also reassured by the NLD decision not to significantly increase spending on health and education, and continued high military spending.
“The recent use in Kachin and Shan areas of the MIG jets we helped pay for demonstrates the positive contribution our investment has already made to Myanmar,” said Pouyanné. “If the government starts providing healthcare and schools it creates problems for us as we need to fund these things as part of our public relations damage control.”
Carpet bag market stagnating
Carpet bag sellers in Yangon are reporting a slowdown in sales after five years of exponential growth.
“It does appear that we have nearing saturation point in the carpet bag market”, said Maung Tin, a sales assistant at Rag and Jeans, a shop popular with foreign workers in Yangon. “Sales are steady but not rising crazily like they were. It’s still a very big market though, especially compared to five years ago.”
Burma Tha Din understands that some carpet bag merchants have responded to the slowing sales by expanding into other markets, such as prosecco wine and mac book accessories.
Myanmar Centre for Responsible Business to discontinue Pwint Thit Sa?
Rumours are circulating that the Myanmar Centre for Responsible Business may discontinue its Pwint Thit Sa/Transparency in Myanmar Enterprise(TiME) reports, owing to the fact that people in Burma now have access to the internet.
An insider told Burma Tha Din, “When it was launched four years ago looking at what companies published on their websites, hardly anyone in Burma had internet access so there was little risk of upsetting any companies. That has changed now so it’s a bit more risky, even though all we do its look at the company website, rather than what the company is actually doing. The last thing we want to do is accidentally expose any wrongdoing by a company or make them look bad.”
French oil giant Total is looking at new investment opportunities following a UN report that human rights violations against the Rohingya minority may constitute crimes against humanity.
“After six years of optimism that human rights in Myanmar would improve, we are now back to seeing the kind of human rights violations which make Myanmar an attractive place for Total to invest in,” said Total head, Patrick Pouyanné. “The establishment of a UN Fact Finding Mission in the Human Rights Council resolution was what finally convinced us that now is the right time.”
Burma Tha Din understands that Total executives were also reassured by the NLD decision not to significantly increase spending on health and education, and continued high military spending.
“The recent use in Kachin and Shan areas of the MIG jets we helped pay for demonstrates the positive contribution our investment has already made to Myanmar,” said Pouyanné. “If the government starts providing healthcare and schools it creates problems for us as we need to fund these things as part of our public relations damage control.”
Carpet bag market stagnating
Carpet bag sellers in Yangon are reporting a slowdown in sales after five years of exponential growth.
“It does appear that we have nearing saturation point in the carpet bag market”, said Maung Tin, a sales assistant at Rag and Jeans, a shop popular with foreign workers in Yangon. “Sales are steady but not rising crazily like they were. It’s still a very big market though, especially compared to five years ago.”
Burma Tha Din understands that some carpet bag merchants have responded to the slowing sales by expanding into other markets, such as prosecco wine and mac book accessories.
Myanmar Centre for Responsible Business to discontinue Pwint Thit Sa?
Rumours are circulating that the Myanmar Centre for Responsible Business may discontinue its Pwint Thit Sa/Transparency in Myanmar Enterprise(TiME) reports, owing to the fact that people in Burma now have access to the internet.
An insider told Burma Tha Din, “When it was launched four years ago looking at what companies published on their websites, hardly anyone in Burma had internet access so there was little risk of upsetting any companies. That has changed now so it’s a bit more risky, even though all we do its look at the company website, rather than what the company is actually doing. The last thing we want to do is accidentally expose any wrongdoing by a company or make them look bad.”
Wednesday, April 12, 2017
KNU Leader Announces New 'Four Principles'
Fresh from his election victory at the KNU Congress, KNU Chairman Saw Mutu Say Poe has announced a new ‘Four Principles’ to replace the four principles of KNU founder, Saw Ba U Gyi.
The move to change the ‘Four Principles’ is a bold one, as for decades they have been a cornerstone of the ethnic Karen struggle for rights and self-determination.
A KNU insider told Burma Tha Din, “Mutu is feeling very confident now he has been re-elected and ensured his rivals and critics have no senior positions. Having got 139 votes out of the 5 million Karen people, he feels he has a mandate to do what he likes.”
Saw Mutu Say Poe’s New Four Principles are:
For me, surrender is an option
Sale of Karen State natural resources must be complete
We shall retain our petrol stations
Harn Yawnghwe shall decide our political destiny
The move to change the ‘Four Principles’ is a bold one, as for decades they have been a cornerstone of the ethnic Karen struggle for rights and self-determination.
A KNU insider told Burma Tha Din, “Mutu is feeling very confident now he has been re-elected and ensured his rivals and critics have no senior positions. Having got 139 votes out of the 5 million Karen people, he feels he has a mandate to do what he likes.”
Saw Mutu Say Poe’s New Four Principles are:
For me, surrender is an option
Sale of Karen State natural resources must be complete
We shall retain our petrol stations
Harn Yawnghwe shall decide our political destiny
Monday, April 3, 2017
EU to rebrand peace funds as conflict funds
In an exclusive interview with Burma Tha Din, the EU Ambassador to Daw Aung San Suu Kyi, Roland Cobia, revealed that the EU will rebrand its funding for the peace process as ‘conflict funding’ in light of the increase in conflict in Myanmar.
“It just looks bad if you provide tens of millions of dollars for peace and you end up with more conflict," said Cobia. “We considered momentarily whether we might be doing something wrong in the way we have gone about our peace process related funding, but that’s basically inconceivable. The chances of any of our projects in Myanmar ever receiving a genuine evaluation for effectiveness are close to zero, but just in case, we are rebranding this funding as conflict funding, and now we can unequivocally claim the funding is successful.”
Ambassador Cobia also provided an insight into why, despite tens of millions of dollars pledged to the peace process and to develop ethnic areas, internally displaced people in camps in Kachin and Shan States don’t have adequate food, shelter, medical facilities, or education for children.
“What we found with the Karen and Karenni refugees and IDPs is that if they are forced to flee their homes because of conflict or, well, I don’t usually like to use this phrase, human rights violations, and if the area they come from remains unstable and there are landmines, then they don’t want to return home. They can’t live in camps forever so you basically have to withhold and withdraw aid to force them to return home.”
Ambassador Cobia refused to be drawn on exactly how much money the EU and EU member states have spent on the peace process or what exactly the money has been spent on.
“We established the Joint Peace Fund which has been very successful if coordinating the hiring of foreign consultants, and already you can see the results with most donors now using the same phrases such as ‘complex challenges’, ‘needs to be given time’, ‘bound to be a bumpy road’, ‘bound to be setbacks but overall direction of travel is good’, ‘we have to engage and support, ‘I’m afraid we don’t have that information available’, and ‘this time I promise we really will get back to you as soon as possible with details of end recipients of our peace process funding.’
Ambassador Cobia also dismissed criticism that funding is biased towards the priorities and agenda of the government.
“It baffles me as to why ethnic people in Myanmar expect the European Union of all bodies to support any kind of devolved or local decision making. It goes against everything the EU Commission stands for. Our model is to centralise power in one place and make decisions for the regions, and this is the model we follow in Myanmar as well. We always worked with and through the central government, be it military, former military or now Aung San Suu Kyi. Our centralised approach dovetails very nicely with Aung San Suu Kyi’s approach so we work very well together.”
“It just looks bad if you provide tens of millions of dollars for peace and you end up with more conflict," said Cobia. “We considered momentarily whether we might be doing something wrong in the way we have gone about our peace process related funding, but that’s basically inconceivable. The chances of any of our projects in Myanmar ever receiving a genuine evaluation for effectiveness are close to zero, but just in case, we are rebranding this funding as conflict funding, and now we can unequivocally claim the funding is successful.”
Ambassador Cobia also provided an insight into why, despite tens of millions of dollars pledged to the peace process and to develop ethnic areas, internally displaced people in camps in Kachin and Shan States don’t have adequate food, shelter, medical facilities, or education for children.
“What we found with the Karen and Karenni refugees and IDPs is that if they are forced to flee their homes because of conflict or, well, I don’t usually like to use this phrase, human rights violations, and if the area they come from remains unstable and there are landmines, then they don’t want to return home. They can’t live in camps forever so you basically have to withhold and withdraw aid to force them to return home.”
Ambassador Cobia refused to be drawn on exactly how much money the EU and EU member states have spent on the peace process or what exactly the money has been spent on.
“We established the Joint Peace Fund which has been very successful if coordinating the hiring of foreign consultants, and already you can see the results with most donors now using the same phrases such as ‘complex challenges’, ‘needs to be given time’, ‘bound to be a bumpy road’, ‘bound to be setbacks but overall direction of travel is good’, ‘we have to engage and support, ‘I’m afraid we don’t have that information available’, and ‘this time I promise we really will get back to you as soon as possible with details of end recipients of our peace process funding.’
Ambassador Cobia also dismissed criticism that funding is biased towards the priorities and agenda of the government.
“It baffles me as to why ethnic people in Myanmar expect the European Union of all bodies to support any kind of devolved or local decision making. It goes against everything the EU Commission stands for. Our model is to centralise power in one place and make decisions for the regions, and this is the model we follow in Myanmar as well. We always worked with and through the central government, be it military, former military or now Aung San Suu Kyi. Our centralised approach dovetails very nicely with Aung San Suu Kyi’s approach so we work very well together.”
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